Freshports.org Upgraded to 1.1 3
QBasic_Dude writes "Freshports, a BSD-centric service similar to Freshmeat, has been upgraded to 1.1. Freshports now has 100% automation, and improved homepage, and of course, more ports."
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Freshports.org Upgraded to 1.1
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FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed -- it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer. -- A.J. Perlis
X-Free-Men: The Next Mutation (Score:1)
rod blaze lifted his sharpened dagger claws to his forehead and sighed in exasperation. when would the love of his life ever return to him? he had lost his memories during the experimentations on his rock hard body and even his regenerative sk11lz could not return them to him. his thoughts drifted back to his last known date with that beauty, only known as sol.
sol: oooooooooh rod blaze! penetrate me again with that virginator! uhhhh do me once more babee!
she had been clinging to his chest hair with dear life as rod blaze had pounded in to her with all the passion of a wolverine in heat even though a newage material seperated their bodies from immediate contact, contact that could prove fatal for rod blaze.
sol: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
the scream echoed in rod blaze's mind over and over as he dug his sharpened razor like claws into his own flesh and let his blood seep out into the snow that lay around his battered body. he had tortured his body even as his own mind replayed the morose events of that past affair. in an orgasmic eruption he had ripped out an unfathomably large piece of sol's right side. the red fluid had poured onto his face until he awoke from his trance like state and had ripped off the newage material that had seperated their bodies. as rod blaze's body tore on its own accord, sol had regained some vitality. shortly afterwards rod blaze had left for canada to search out his own identity. lying in the snow, he searched his soul.
rod blaze: on this trip of identification, that which i seek to regain, have i thus lost what was right - this teen of body and mind yet ladylike and graceful - whom i have torn of flesh and tortured of mind? my sol, whose teenness so close to np - alas she is not mine to adore - i have found her irresistible - yet in my passion, i may have destroyed her.
sol had recovered, rod blaze had been the worse after his regenerative powers had been passed on to her, but he could not shake the undeniable truth - he had come a hair's width away from ripping the soul away from sol's body.
sol: rod blaze is that you? i have followed you from RMS's school for gifted and cute teens to find you, as i do love you and your wicked delights.
rod blaze: oh sol! how i have should have completed my transgressions against my own body of nature, you whom i have only shamefully admitted to love - shamefully yes - for our ages might very well be in difference - and you are a teen of body and mind, ladylike yes, but pouting teen of breast and pouting teen of lips - that which i do pursue.
sol: oh rod blaze how you should be with me, hold me in your strong arms!
rod blaze: YEARRGGGHHHHHHHHHhh! you have stabbed me my love!? WHhhhyyy? better still, for I am better dead
rod blaze crumples to the ground as hemos morphs from his sol exterior and wipes his blade on the snow.
hemos: MUHHAHAHA foolish rod blaze! i have known you would have taken my sol-bait, but i did not realize how easily. foolish man! i have stollen your sol, and OSM's natalie portman - both pouting teen of breast, and pouting teen of lips, from your secret hideout - RMS's dirty old cave aka RMS's School for the Gifted and Cute Teens!
no one really knew why hemos - a manchild - kept his base form of a leathery skinned blue women with golden eyes. perhaps it was because of the demands of having a relationship with ESR - the dirty old pedo who could create magnetic fields at will.
hemos runs down the snowy hill, even as the sun begins to set over rod blaze's motionless body. he meets a couple getting into their skidoo, and slays them both with his wickedly curved dagger. he takes off in their skidoo - obviously headed for ESR's secret hideout for an entertaining evening filled with sexual dominance and submission.
a few hours later, twilight. rod blaze awakens from his regenerative sleep and utters a curse.
rod blaze:foul demonness hemos! my misfortune has thus been your fortune, and has transformed my wholesome love for sol into a mockery by your treacherous and lecherous ways!
rod blaze, now recovered, jumps onto OSM's motorcycle - stolen - which had been hidden in the tundra - and launches himself down the road like a missile. he arrives at the school by daybreak. he parks his bike, and lights up a cuban cigar.
rod blaze: Aahhhaha the school! now where is my sol whom i have forsaken for too long - and open source man and his natalie portman?
teen iceman: hey rod blaze - looking for your sweet heart sol? well i really turned her on with my ice rose - i bet she creamed her shorts - but you won't find her here - she and natalie portman have been kidnapped by esr and his goons: roblimo the canadian experiment gone wrong and hemos the transvestite shapechanger!
rod blaze: you stupid little fuck, tell me where sol and natalie really are now, or i'll shove a blade into your tight little anus!
rod blaze extricates one long wicked blade from the middle of his right hand as open source man strides onto the scene, wearing his cool oakley rubicon coated lenses and a pair of tight leather pants.
open source man: jeez rod blaze - forget this little teen fuck - we've got two pouting of teen lips and pouting of teen breasts teens to rescue! and give me my fucking bike you cunt.
rod blaze: you're a dick. let's go.
open source man jumps onto the back of his bike that rod blaze is so deftly piloting. their speed increases to mach 5 - on the razors edge - they flit past the scenes in a rush of adrenaline and exhaust.
rod blaze: where the fuck are we going anyhow?
open source man: RMS, that old fart, i convinced him to take some time out of indoctrinating the masses with his gpl madness and use his mental fraternizing to good use - to locate my sweet natalie and your sensual sol! they're imprisoned in ESR's hideout - off the I-95, the next exit, underneath the new hampshire town hall - yeah the one that looks like a miniature white house.
rod blaze pulls into the miniature white house drive. five officers are guarding the entrance to new hampshire town hall.
officers: Muuuuuuuuutation! Muuuuuuuuutation! Kill 'em all boys!
open source man flips the knob on his rubicon visor and explosively clears a path to the underground lair of ESR and his flunkies. rod blaze smokes his cigar and sits astride his motorcycle nonchalantly. the pigs run, hide, and try to stay calm by munching on some diabetic chocolate.
rod blaze: good job. natalie doesn't just keep you around for your sweet ass, does she?
open source man: stay away from my girlfriend.
open source man clears a smooth way down to ESR's hideout by using his haX0ring sk1llz, aka, his mutant power. rod blaze revs the engine and he and open source man ride down into the darkness. the air below smells like the sickly sweet stench of a night of lust and penetration. the darkness triggers an uneasiness in rod blaze as he experiences a flashback to horror filled days of the grafting of adamantite to his skeleton.
open source man and rod blaze disembark from their vehicle and are faced with an iron bridge over a river of sewage. ESR, mutant of immense power, controller of magnetic fields and open source advocate stands at the other end of the bridge.
ESR: (in a booming voice) i am the greatest pedo of the east and west, and i shall penetrate your loves tonight! prepare to face my wrath, X-MEN!
rod blaze: have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
open source man: what?!?
rod blaze extends his blades in a fury of taut muscle, blazing fast energy and runs across the bridge with the speed of an antelope and the wisdom of a rock. open source man takes aim at ESR with his visor. suddenly, out of the darkness does appear two teen beauties, one on each side of ESR. it is sol and natalie portman, both dressed in bronze bikinis and collared, and reminiscent of leia, jabba's slave.
rod blaze: Noooooooooooooo!
open source man: huh?
ESR: ah ha my children, children of mutation, children of open source. i am unsatisfied with my millions, i require tight bodies as well, and now, as you can very well see, i have them at my delectable disposal, even though i am somewhat dirty and disgusting of thought.
ESR raises his hands high into the sky as he screams with a lecherous abandon:
ESR: feel my power my pretties! dance and writhe in your orgasmic pleasure that I have so bestowed upon yous!
grammar nazi: you fscking idiot - yous ain't a word.
suddenly sol and natalie portman are lifted into the air, approximately 10 feet into the sky as rod blaze is frozen in place and open source man's visor is torn from his face and cast to the ground. it skitters across the damp earth. he closes his eyes with all his might so as not to blast his poor, beloved, pouting of teen breast and pouting of teen lips, natalie portman. natalie portman's thong is ripped from her thighs as sol's is also. two immense metallic dildos are immediately thrust between their legs and commence their assault at a frantic pace. natalie and sol are in a state of heighted pleasure as their awareness slips only to their love muffins.
open source man cries: natalie, i have loved and longed for you since the day creation began, and it shall endure, until creation doth bestow me unto the earth!
rod blaze: sol, think to my hairy chest and to my mutant member!
sol: ooooOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh rod blaze i yearn for the viciousness of your member and your jaws upon my teen nipples!
natalie portman: oh open source man, i have loved you always, you are my soul mate and my one desire upon this earth. i shall be in your strong open sourced arms once more my love!
natalie and sol look to each other and their eyes meet even as they reach new plateaus of orgasmic pleasure. natalie seems to concentrate for an instant, she stops humping the dildo.
ESR: ahh Uh ahhh yes, i shall.
ESR bends over and flips up his cape. natalie and sol are lowered to ground, very gently. natalie has her hands on her temples and is concentrating fervously. a bead of sweat starts to form across her forehead. ESR looks like he is in a trance. he pulls his stockings off and spreads his bum cheeks. sol walks over to ESR and places her hand on his hand. ESR starts to shake and wail like a little boy. sol waves her hand and the dildos, like two heat seeking missiles, head straight for esr's anus and grind into it with a furious resolve.
rod blaze: sol! you have his power - natalie, did you control him to bend over and release us?
natalie portman: yes yes yes!
sol: yes my love, yes!
open source man's visor jumps to his face and reattaches itself to his head. he then locates hemos and roblimo - cowering in a pile of cookies in the far side of the cavern. without a word rod blaze and open source man run to their location, and after an incredible battle, claim victory to be theirs!
sol and natalie portman run to their gpl'ed heroes and embrace them and shower them with kisses. their pubic areas are wet and yummy, so rod blaze and open source man engage in fellatio with utmost fervour. after a while they walk off, natalie portman safe in the arms of her hero, open source man, and sol, in the arms of her hero, rod blaze.
love and happiness reign supreme.
EPILOGUE
somewhere in another plastic dungeon RMS continues ESR's mental ass pounding.
ESR: old friend, do you really think you can ever beat the open source movement?
RMS: where ever you bring your open source 'movement', i shall be there, with my GPL and my freedom.
BSDCon 2000 (Score:2)
freshports and freebsddiary (Score:2)
To spread a little *bsd advacocy, I like the fact that BSD isn't to poplar, it's not fragmented. If I have a problem with Apache 1.3.4 and FreeBSD 3.4, it's going to have "an answer", or at least a lot fewer answers then under a linux.
So I can go to freebsddiary and get the skinny on darn near anything, I want to setup ssh? No problem, how about apache+php4+ssl, no problem.
I've only been to freshports a few times, I run my server on FreeBSD and am much more concerned with new exploits then new programs I don't need to run or check out.
I have a linux box for stuff like that.
-Jon