New FreeBSD Book Aimed At Newest Users 158
Chris Coleman writes: "Annelise Anderson has written a new FreeBSD book titled "FreeBSD: An Open Source Operating System for Your Personal Computer".
The book includes:
* installation CD-ROM for the entire system plus many software applications
* space requirements, screen shots, and detailed instructions for installing FreeBSD
* step-by-step instructions on configuring and running FreeBSD, connecting to the Internet, setting up an internal network, and setting up sound, X Window System (the graphical user interface), and printing." I think the raftload of available books have helped tremendously in making GNU/Linux popular, by first making it possible for non-experts to install it -- with more BSD books, perhaps the same will happen. Fame awaits you if you care to give this book a Slashdot review :)
You people have no sense of humor (Score:2)
Really soon now, some one will say... (Score:1)
Dependency check: Life -> needs FreeBSD&Coffee
an opensource os? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:an opensource os? (Score:2)
It's part of being Buzzword Compliance.
In past years, the buzzwords have been:
Re:an opensource os? (Score:1)
Of course, given the centralized source [freebsd.org] of packages (ports [freebsd.org]), and the quality of the documentation there [freebsd.org] (especially the FreeBSD handbook [freebsd.org]) FreeBSD is really a pretty good place for Newbies [freebsd.org] to begin their foray into Open Source. Hell FreeBSD was where I started, and at this point I don't own any windows machines, save my old laptop.
Re:an opensource os? (Score:1)
in related news (Score:2, Funny)
"It's the most definitive Linux book you can buy" (Linus Torvalds).
"Absolutely superb." (Richard Stallman).
"The only book you'll ever need about Linux...heck...about UNIX!" (W. Richard Steven's widow).
FreeBSD, eat your own dog food (Score:3, Funny)
Re:FreeBSD, eat your own dog food (Score:1)
There are real reasons for not wanting the OS to be developed in the USA. One is the way the US wants to control technology, such as encryption and, now, copyright. OpenBSD [openbsd.org], for example, is based in Canada for the specific purpose of avoiding constraining US export laws.
I don't care who develops my OS. The only foreigners that bother me are the ones that have "Kill Americans" on today's list of things to do. Additionally, California isn't necessarily going to keep up in a crisis, especially if their UPSs are draining during a blackout.
Re:FreeBSD, eat your own dog food (Score:2)
List of FreeBSD Developers (Score:2)
I like freebsd. Stop flaming it. (Score:1)
Really, a new user has very few initial tasks, which freebsd handles quite nicely.
1) Install the bugger.
2) See things with pretty windows.
3) Install some new software.
4) Browse the WWW.
The freebsd installation is very straightforward. It even allows for FTP installation, so for those of us too lazy to pick up a CD, but with a fast connection, we can install in an hour online.
Then, the ports are incredibly straightforward, and you can build almost all of them from the installer. Getting X + KDE up just takes knowledge of your video card and monitor, and willingness to guess a couple of times.
Installing additional software again is handled through the install, which you can always access from the command line -- which it nicely tells you how to do! Or, just find the port in the Ports collection, and type Make Install -- any dependencies are downloaded and built for you, automagically. I haven't yet had to deal with a dependency issue on my new box.
Finally, if you've made it this far with an FTP install, your network connection is already set up, so there's nothing more to do to browse the web. Just fire up Konqueror, and you're there!
I've tried Caldera, Corel, Red Hat in the past, and always managed to get hung up on one of those steps. Now, I have a working FreeBSD box, it's been up for two weeks, and I have a stable platform to start working on my advanced goals. This book looks like just the ticket.
Re:I like freebsd. Stop flaming it. (Score:1)
Re:I like freebsd. Stop flaming it. (Score:2)
Will you shut up already! Geesh, you're gonna have all these Linux folks blocking up the FreeBSD servers if you keep talking like that. Where the heck are you going to cvsup from if the entirety of the Linux community starts in on it. Think man!
Ummm, woohoo, uh, Redhat, Mandrake, Debian, Yay! Root root, hip hip, and all that. Nothing to see here, move along.
BSD Firewall project for windoze users (Score:3, Interesting)
Our local UUG (CUUG) [cuug.ab.ca] ran a course where they put you step-by-step though the process of making a firewall in one evening. You just had to take the thing home and plug it into your cablemodem/hub or PC. They even made sure you had the right IP's for your local provider, being DSL or cable
Books are good, yes, but the UNIX/Linux community reaching out with projects kept simple to show the user something they can't do with Windoze is another way to clue the masses to the strenghs of other OS's.
FreeBSD, Linux, custom bootdisks the difference (Score:3, Interesting)
I am relatively young to the scene myself, but let's take a walk down memory lane say six years ago. Back in those days the Linux Howto's, especially the Installation Howto, were essentially Slackware Howto's. (The book I used to figure out how to install Linux was essentially the Howto's printed out.) My PC's BIOS from that era did not support booting from an ATAPI CD Rom drive. Hard drives were much smaller but the EIDE ones were coming up against a succession of limits, limits in where a kernel could be located and still be seen by a bootloader. For Linux there was a well-defined path introducing newbies: you installed and created a custom bootdisk. Linux installation instructions also told how to edit the kernel for the bootdisk floppy to change the root partition location.
From my newbie perspective, this was installation Nirvana! I didn't have to worry about LILO if I didn't want to. From the perspective of other people sharing the PC I used, other than taking up hard drive space, they didn't have to know Linux existed. And Linux could be installed in an extended partition not just a primary partition. Keep in mind that hard drives were a lot smaller then, so for dual-boot setups it was nice to be able to dedicate some more room for the Windows C: drive. And not only that but since everyone did the custom bootdisk compiling as a rite of passage, people could compile bootdisks to help others if the default floppy didn't have the right drivers.
Now from what I have read of the FreeBSD community's thoughts, they couldn't care less about such concerns. The ISP I used back then was hosted on a collection of FreeBSD boxes, abandoning a more monolothic solution with an SGI server, because the ISP's lead technical person knew how to do it. FreeBSD is more like an industrial consortium as far as the core developers go, and at least at that time there was a huge emphasis on stuff related to running ISPs. From their perspective it was laughable to devote much effort to support the most unreliable medium of all, a floppy, for custom booting a machine. And someone like an ISP wouldn't be using EIDE, they'd be using SCSI. 528MB limit [linuxdoc.org], "get some real hardware, kid" I'd imagine they'd think. And they'd have their internal network and their own procedures for mass replicating setups to many machines.
Six years later I think we can see everyone got what they wanted. The Linux community developed critical mass and got wildly popular with newbies. The FreeBSD community was left alone by the newbies they didn't want to deal with.
Re:FreeBSD, Linux, custom bootdisks the difference (Score:2)
Apparently I missed something in the handbook. Where exactly is there some "policy" that says anything about not catering to newbies?
Now from what I have read of the FreeBSD community's thoughts, they couldn't care less about such concerns.
Okay, with that level of FUD going on I've got to see some quotes, or at very least some names attached to these "thoughts". Especially with all the efforts now going in to make the port installations even easier, and a new version of sysinstall coming in 4.4, again to make things easier. All the mailing lists are archived on the FreeBSD site, on Google, and lots of stuff sitting on the Usenet right now. Finding these "thoughts" shouldn't be too awfully hard.
By gosh, Microsoft would be proud. Have you considered a job in PR?
Why I, a *nix noob, choose BSD (Score:4, Interesting)
Just when I'm down and out and nearly giving up with *nix, I find FreeBSD. I install it in half the time on my old computer that the other Linux distros took. I was running Lynx and felt like a ninja soon after. Within a day I got X running. Then I went to a bookstore to pick up a book. There's a whole shelf for Linux books. And one lonely FreeBSD book. A day later I've recompiled my kernel as well. The book is a bit too advanced for my tastes, so I should probably pick up this book and maybe a 'Basic *nix Primer' or something. But for me FreeBSD has been infinitely more valuable as a learning tool than Linux was. But really, that's just my experience. No doubt I'm in the minority, and people with more typical hardware will do better with Linux.
Re:Why I, a *nix noob, choose BSD (Score:1)
SAMS "FreeBSD Unleashed" arrives Sep 20? (Score:1)
I've been awaiting the arrival of FreeBSD Unleashed [amazon.com] by Michael Urban and Brian Tiemann.
It's 1000 pages -- here's hoping they're useful!
Helevius
keeps getting easier (Score:2, Interesting)
As an amateur tinkerer with various unix flavors, I found rh5 a bit awkward to do anything with, 6.2 was considerably better. From there I went to buying the 4.1 BSD at the house of evil (aka Fry's), and found it to be the easiest *nix distribution yet.
Between the book (the whole reason for buying the package in the first place) and the install system, I found it very easy to get up and running. The management system for getting patches and updates was wonderful...
Then I got a copy of RH7.1 That has to be the slickest install package yet. Flawless install, everything works, and less interaction than even the most basic windoze install (ducking violently hurled heavy objects).
If rh keeps going this way, it could well be ready for general use in the near future.
As for the book in question, it sounds worth a read, although I won't be doing a write up on it - as you can already see, my writing sucks...
Write it up (Score:2)
Re:keeps getting easier (Score:2)
Not likely.
The World Needs a Darwin for Dummies Book (Score:1)
The online sites, like Darwinfo.org, are aimed at more experienced users and are often very slow. Maybe that's because they are overloaded.
FreeBSD for dummies? (Score:1)
Apart from printing and setting up an internal network, everything ought to be done by the installation program by default, with minimal user intervention. Why should I read a book to do something like that? To be honest, this is where FreeBSD and Linux still scare many people away. Windows may not be the easiest, but at least, it makes the things mentioned above easy enough that most people (except those that don't even know how to use a mouse) don't need to read a book at all, with self-help wizards.
But making something too easy to install is also troublesome (e.g. IIS)...
Re:FreeBSD for dummies? (Score:1)
I disagree. That's exactly the reason why I prefer BSD: If you've set it up yourself, you know how it works and how to fix it.
Re:FreeBSD for dummies? (Score:1)
Great (Score:2, Troll)
I've always said that one of the biggest problems with the BSD/Linux community was the high level-of-entry that was required. I mean, just to start into a text-only operating system is intimidating enough, but trying to decode cryptic interfaces and even more cryptic man pages is often too much for John Q Computer User.
Re:Great (Score:2)
About a year ago friend came over and saw my computer monitor. It was running KDE with the Acqua theme, and all the bells and whistles running. He said "I see you decided to stop using that text-only Linux stuff." "Yep", I replied, "I'm running FreeBSD now..."
FreeBSD isn't any more or less text-oriented than Linux. You have your X11R6 and the very same GUI programs you are used to. It has xdm, gdm, kdm and all the other *dms do you never have to see a text console.
If you're frightened of seeing raw text unsurrounded by themed GUI borders, then by all means stay away from FreeBSD. But also stay away from Linux for the same reason. Eventually you're going to have to delve into the inner working of the operating system and configure something unanticipated by YaST or DrakConf.
Bob Young once compared proprietary software to a car with its hood welded shut. If you want every automobile function to be accessible through the dashboard, why then, you might as well have one of the hood-welded cars.
Re:Great (Score:2, Interesting)
I recently taught a short course on FreeBSD at my university.
Why did I pick FreeBSD? Because it is really easy to install, but still doesn't abstract things with wizards.
The audience of the class were people who had never touched UNIX before and only two of my students had ever even installed Windows.
Every single one of my students was able to install FreeBSD at the end of the class. This was even after they were bombarded for two weeks with things like package management, X11, Window Maker, KDE, StarOffice, gimp, etc.
They were able to mainly intuit the install afterward.
FreeBSD is darned easy to install, and even easier to use afterward. If FreeBSD ever added a gui to the install, people would be bitching that MacOS was hard to install.
As a (now) longtime Linux/BSD user, I have to say: FreeBSD is as easy as UNIX installs get. And I'll say its easier than any version of Windows to install other than Win2k.
-Peter
Re:Great (Score:1)
Odd modding. (Score:1)
Give me liberty or mod me down.
Re:Odd modding. (Score:1)
would you prefer that bsd/linux os's remain a geek elitist niche, or would you rather it become a more powerful force in the OS world?
Re:Great (Score:2, Insightful)
The GUI is the single most signifigant development in computer user interfaces in the past 20 years. Sure OS's don't like using all those resources on a GUI, but for users, it turns the computer from a cryptic oracle that speaks in an arcane language to an tool that coresponds to our innate understanding of the world. "I need to stop using this file, so I will drop it on the desktop for a minute."
When I fist installed Linux, my first reaction was: "So THIS is what the hype is all about? A user interface from the 1970s? No wonder this is free, who would pay for it?" I gave up on Linux for a year and have only recently tried again, mostly unsuccessfully because the install and hardware detection routines are damn so hard to use. The contempt that experienced users have for those of us who would prefer a GUI certainly doesn't help.
While I agree that Linux GUIs aren't really the right tool for interacting with a lot of Linux's features, that is a failing of the GUIs and distributions, not a failing of the concept of a GUI.
Re:Great (Score:2)
The Amiga was a Graphics Only system. In fact, the hardware did not have any text-modes at all. It was physically impossible to get a pure text-mode display on an Amiga, but the Amiga's internal graphics system didn't stop the user from accessing some pretty good shells.
Needless to say, the Amiga had a fairly advanced PIPE, but then, it was modeled vaguely as a single user Unix. That's something it's largely under credited for.
The next logical step in PIPE evolution would be opening files in the OS through the pipe in a concept that follows as such...
Application A pipes file FNORD.JPG where it is loaded into that applications memory, and a scratch pad in ram.
Application B pipes the same file FNORD.JPG where it is loaded in it's own application memory, and shares the scratch pad with the previous application.
Any changes made by application A would instantly be available to application B, and vice versa, as every change is followed by a subsequent write to the scratch pad, which the other application immediately notices and retreives.
This is all very possible if correctly designed into the OS and GUI. This also makes the PIPE a two way street...
When the GUI supports pipes... (Score:1)
Conceptually this doesn't sound like a big problem... Implementing it is a different story...
Imagine a Visio like diagram where the visual elements consist of small iconic like forms where this iconic form would represent a task to be called: Ex: Cat (concatonate)
These iconic forms would allow you to specify parameters using text, combo, and other selection widgets, while input and output connected via drag-drop from one iconic form to another.
You could even take it a step further and allow input and output to be connected to the parameters themselves.
Of course, the killer feature would be if could work along-side your favorite command line tool without mangling it, much like a good SQL visual editor.
Re:When the GUI supports pipes... (Score:1)
If you were actually SPEAKING for the (Score:2)
Market share translate to influence and ATTENTION.
Because M$ has failed to implement a GUI PROPERLY does not mean GUI is bad, I personally think there is NO BETTER PLACE for a GUI done RIGHT to originate. MOB software model
Is this good for Mac OS X users? (Score:1)
I was brought up on DOS (started with 3), so I am familiar with a CLI, but the *nix commands just seem so arcane.
Is this a good book? Are any of you aware of a good net-based trainer for FreeBSD?
Thanks.
Re:Is this good for Mac OS X users? (Score:1)
Not that pricey either (Score:1)
Re:Not that pricey either (Score:1)
CUUG had to charge 20 bucks to cover the cost of the NICS. Everything else they got for free, plus some sweat put in by volunteers to teach and get systems ready.
Hrmm (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
I don't think that a lack of documentation is the reason linux has "more popularity (if it does)." I just think that it's more advertised.
Disagree, i think it plays a part.IMHO most budding geeksters who are sitting on their wondiws boxes just waiting to install a proper OS over the top come to sites like this to lurk and find out what OS to go for.
the general consensus is that *nix is thaw way to go and the choice is either BSD or Linux.
BSD is much more elitist that Linux so its bes tto learn linux and then 'gradyuate' onto BSd at a later date.
if you really wanna be a sheep you have to follow this path... corel, redhat, mandrake, debian, slackware. then and can you go on to bigger and B(SD)etter things.
Re:Hrmm (Score:3, Insightful)
"Linux is for people who hate Windows. FreeBSD is for people who like UNIX."
What this pretty much means, is that FreeBSD is popular in the role Linux was originally intended for ('nix for low-cost PCs), while Linux is touted as the big/noisy "alternative to Microsoft".
Another thing to note, is that while Linux can't technically be called a UNIX (it looks the same, but is very different inside), BSD is a real UNIX (though it can't be called one only for legal reasons).
Re:Hrmm (Score:3, Informative)
Another point: your point is a good one, but it's more about perception than reality.
I do applaud the existence of a BSD book, finally, though -- I use Linux myself (I have OpenBSD running on a Mac SE/30, but it's wedged in rather painfully and I don't use it much) but I do think BSD gets rather short shrift these days. There are five different major Open Source BSDs out there these days, only one of which (Darwin) gets any significant amount of media play. But Yahoo has been running FreeBSD for a long time, and development continues on all the variants... it's about time.
/Brian
(how come we don't have a female mascot around here, anyway? What do Tux, Beastie, and Hexley go home to at night?)
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
Why would the individual they go home to have to be female?
Dinivin
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
http://home.wanadoo.nl/c.leung/Pictures/takeittux
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
Re:Hrmm (Score:2)
It's (BSD) not any harder to install than most linux distributions (save mandrake, redhat, oh, perhaps it is harder to install)...
So in essence what you're saying is that Linux is for the point-and-clicker newbies, and FreeBSD is for the intelligentsia that don't need fancy dancy pointy-clicky wizards and helpers? I get it. So the progression of knowledge should be:
>-PlayStation 2 ->-Windows 98 ->-Linux ->- Windows 2000 ->-GEM (Atari ST) ->-BSD.
;-) Seriously though user friendliness is one of those hilarious multi-headed hydras: When you don't have it you can disparage it as being for idiots and dullards, but once you have it it's a wonderful feature.
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
User friendly is a relative statement in my opinion. For some things I find linux and FreeBSD more user friendly than Windows. What we seem to mean by user friendly is idiot freindly, or no knowledge required friendly. As a user I like the fact that I do not have to reboot the system to regain speed, stop an app which is not cooperating and such.
Don't get me wrong... if you setup a system for someone and it keeps running as setup for years is that not user friendly??? Everyone keeps saying that windows is better because anyone can administer it, but I have yet to see everyone administer it. When they refer to anyone, they meen someone with a bit of computer knowledge, but in that case they can as easily administer any other OS.
This comment is not to insite a flame war of which OS is friendlier, this is to make a simple point. I have clients which use BSD's as ther server OS and have not had to visit them to admin the system,in some cases, for over 5 years. Now is this not user friendly?
Re:Hrmm (Score:2)
On a few levels I quite agree with you. The real problem with the whole concept of "user friendliness" is just that, the *user* part. What comes to mind is the SWAT (SAMBA ) interface. It's pretty decent, covering all the essentials that an experienced user might wish to quickly check/alter. The problem is that an unexperienced user would have no idea about most of the settings . Does that mean that this UI is crap? I don't think so. The real solution is to correctly target your audience with the right level of "help". Don't forget, SWAT (and most *nix apps - correct?) allow for editing the config file with a text editor for all that advanced stuff anyway..
So back to BSD - heck any *nix; the level of computer education is the real problem. Grandma probably shouldn't be using *BSD, and CompSci grads probably should't be using Windows.
Re:Hrmm (Score:1)
Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be the case. At my university, most of the grads know 'Just enough Unix' to get by. There are the odd few that realize the power of Unix, but for the most part, they're content using putty as a terminal client to access our Solaris machines. Heck, around here, there is no 'Vi vs. Emacs' debate (except among a few)...the real debate is 'Pico vs. anything else! Pico, they use Pico as an everyday text editor! Makes me wanna cry.
-Ben
Re:BSD is very user friendly (Score:1)
Yup I definitely agree: I use and love FreeBSD and have no issues with it. I just find the paradox of user friendliness an interesting point of discussion.
At Last (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:At Last (Score:2)
But- can you REALLY consider yourself a computer geek if you've never had regular exposure to the command line in some form? Last I checked, the more *geeky* the operating system the more available the command line.
Ah well, anything to help a quality OS become more popular and gain "market" must be a good thing.
Now This Is A Book I Would Buy (Score:4, Interesting)
- I am primarily a Windows user (and Windows support tech,) but want to get more involved with the alternative OSs, especially because of Windows XP. (I already installed Mandrake 8.0, but I don't want to be permanently GUI handicapped)
- I don't have an enormous pipe to download applications. I can only get 28.8 where I live
- When people say 'RTFM' I actually have something to refer to
- It's too time consuming to look up all kinds of documentation online. I know it exists, but downloading it, finding what I want, printing it, etc is annoying. I don't have another box to use while setting up BSD.
- It essentially centralises everything, and I can even learn things without my box at hand because I can just sit down with the book
It's this kind of thing that might lasso in users who otherwise have too little time/patience to break out of the windows mold.
Re:Now This Is A Book I Would Buy (Score:1)
Upgrading FreeBSD via cvsup can be done easily over a slow line. "I can't upgrade because my link is slow" is a common myth. Now downloading an install ISO or installing via FTP do take some speed/time.
- When people say 'RTFM' I actually have something to refer to
The whole handbook and many docs are located on the system post-install in
- It's too time consuming to look up all kinds of documentation online. I know it exists, but downloading it, finding what I want, printing it, etc is annoying. I don't have another box to use while setting up BSD.
That's why there are the ``man'' and ``info'' commands, in addition to the documentation above. ``info'' has loads of manuals and other documentation, but many people don't even know it exists. Docs are also put in
The FreeBSD project has great existing documentation. A book is nice but for some it is a waste of money. (Unless the money goes back to the project somehow, and then it's a nice donation.)
Re:Now This Is A Book I Would Buy (Score:1)
For ISOs, I just get someone I know to download for me via a fiber office connection and then bring the hard drive over to my place.
But for normal upgrades, sadly, they STILL cause problems. Even if I start pulling something 500k+ down over the 28.8, some other family member gets pissed because I'm hogging the connection. Such is life. I just have to hope that Look Communications [www.look.ca] doesn't go bankrupt so that we can sign up for their wireless broadband.
Re:Now This Is A Book I Would Buy (Score:1)
- It's too time consuming to look up all kinds of documentation online. I know it exists, but downloading it, finding what I want, printing it, etc is annoying. I don't have another box to use while setting up BSD.
- It essentially centralises everything, and I can even learn things without my box at hand because I can just sit down with the book
well, this is one thing i loved that is part of both Linux and FreeBSD, all the docs. FreeBSD with its manual and docs, Linux with its HowTo's, etc.
both when installed, have swaths of documentation.
dont have another box for printing? screen/alt-f2 etc. docs in one console, doing it in another..
Buzzword Bingo? (Score:3, Funny)
I count six buzzwords in there out of a total of only 12 words.
I doubt we'll see a growth in FreeBSD (Score:2)
So, sadly, marketing and buzz will allow a less technologically elegant OS (Linux) to trump a better one, FreeBSD.
Freebsd for dummies (newbies?) (Score:1)
FreeBSD in a nutshell? (Score:1)
psxndc
A nice step forward... (Score:1)
I think that the most intimidating part of Linux/*BSD has to be the install itself. Unless you're used to DOS or other shell based OS's it can get a little confusing for the average user. Text == Intimidating. Everyone loves the look of X ( Don't lie to yourselves! ), and once they can get past the installer process I think most people loosen up to the concept. Oooo, pretty windows! This wasn't so hard after all!
Great work, keep it up guys.
Re:A nice step forward... (Score:1)
Re:A nice step forward... (Score:1)
What the hell are you talking about?
*BSD trolls dying (Score:1, Funny)
You don't need to be Bob Cringely [pbs.org] to predict a Trolls future. The hand writing is on the wall: Trolls face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Trolls because Trolls are dying. Things are looking very bad for Trolls. As many of us are already aware, Trolls continue to lose market share. Green ink flows like a river of blood. Anonymous Trolls are the most endangered of them all.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Troll leader AC states that there are 7000 Anonymous Trolls. How many Trolls with names are there? Let's see. The number of Anonymous versus Named posts on
Due to the troubles of Trolling, abysmal sales and so on, CompuServ went out of business and was taken over by AOL who sells another troubled product to goatsex Trolls. Now AOL is also dead, its corpse turned over to another Troll-Lover.
All major surveys show that Trolling has steadily declined in market share. Trolling is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Trolling is to survive at all it will be among Anonymous hobbyist dabblers. Trolling continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Trolls are dead.
Re:*BSD trolls dying (Score:1)
Re:Before any of you trolls say it... (Score:3, Funny)
>
> BSD is NOT dying!
Mr. Praline : 'Ello. I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner has his back to the register and does not respond.)
Mr. Praline : 'Ello, Miss?
Owner : (turning around, very angry) What do you mean, "miss"?
Mr. Praline : I'm sorry, I have a cold.
(The owner nods, understanding.)
Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint!
Owner : (hurriedly) Sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!
Mr. Praline : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this OS, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner : Oh yes, the, ah, the FreeBSD... What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.
Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead OS when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Mr. Praline : Restin'?
Owner : Y-yeah, restin.' Remarkable OS, the FreeBSD, isn't it, eh? Beautiful command line!
Mr. Praline : The command line don't enter into it. It's stone dead!
Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline : All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the system tower)
'Ello, Demon! Mister Demon OS! I've got a lovely fresh OC-3 for you if you wake up, Mr. Demon OS...
(owner hits the monitor)
Owner : There, he moved!
Mr. Praline : No, he didn't, that was you pushing the monitor!
Owner : I never!!
Mr. Praline : Yes, you did!
Owner : I never, never....
(He pulls the hard disk out of the box and screams into it.)
Mr. Praline : 'ELLO DEEEEEEMMMOOONN BEEE-ESSSSS-DEEEEE! DEMON OS! WAKE UP!
(He bangs the disk against the store counter, horribly hard.)
TESTIIIING! TESTIIIING! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O' CLOCK ALARM CALL!
(He does it again, harder.)
BEEE-ESSSSS-DEEEEE!
(He tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. Longish pause.)
Now that's what I call a dead OS.
Owner : No, no.... No, he's stunned.
Mr. Praline : STUNNED?
Owner : Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! FreeBSDs stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That OS is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of market share was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long download.
Owner : Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.
(Praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)
Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner : The FreeBSD prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable OS, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely command line!
Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining that OS when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on the hard disk in the first place was that it had been WRITE PROTECTED there.
(pause)
Owner : Well, of course it was write protected there! If I hadn't write protected that OS down, it would have nuzzled up to the ethernet card, hacked its way out with its little trident, and VOOM!
Mr. Praline : "VOOM?"
(Praline puts the system down and take the hard disk into his hands.)
Mr. Praline : Look matey, this OS wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner : It's not! I-It's pining!
Mr. Praline : It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This OS is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late OS! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't write protected him to the disk he would be pushing up the daisies! Its active processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-OS!
(pause)
Owner : Well, I'd better replace it, then.
-------------
Sorry folks. Couldn't resist!
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you jackass
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