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I most look forward to flying with ...

Displaying poll results.
A small folding knife
  2468 votes / 12%
A souvenier bat
  248 votes / 1%
A hockey stick
  768 votes / 3%
Billiard cues
  363 votes / 1%
Lacrosse sticks
  230 votes / 1%
Golf clubs
  225 votes / 1%
More than 3 ounces of shampoo
  5663 votes / 28%
A sense of natural liberty
  9681 votes / 49%
19646 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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I most look forward to flying with ...

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  • by tylikcat (1578365) on Friday March 08, 2013 @01:35PM (#43117665)

    ...though in the meantime I'll enjoy having my leatherman micro, and not just the silly disguised as a key microtool.

    Being able to carry my telescoping and entirely non-functional travel sword would be nice, too. Or bottles of maple syrup and jars of pumpkin butter. (This list drawn from some of my more memorable interactions with TSA.)

    • by Dexter Herbivore (1322345) on Friday March 08, 2013 @02:07PM (#43118057) Journal
      "A sense of natural liberty", that means I can fly naked now, right? Right?
      • by tylikcat (1578365) on Friday March 08, 2013 @02:28PM (#43118349)

        Works for me, as long as you stay out of my seat.

        (Though "sense of liberty" seems rather vague - you might not have it but you sense it? Drugs? A disturbance in the Force? Wat?)

        • by mosb1000 (710161) <mosb1000@mac.com> on Friday March 08, 2013 @05:16PM (#43120489)

          as you stay out of my seat.

          Shouldn't you at least see who you're talking to before you add that condition?

          • by ChrisMaple (607946) on Friday March 08, 2013 @05:58PM (#43121077)
            The comment was directed to "Dexter Herbivore". The name implies 1: maleness 2: lack of bowel control. Stay the hell out of my seat.
            • by Mordok-DestroyerOfWo (1000167) on Friday March 08, 2013 @07:04PM (#43121809)
              I read that as a right-handed attractive dieter. But then again, I'm an optimist.
            • by tylikcat (1578365) on Friday March 08, 2013 @07:23PM (#43121991)

              Hm. Gender isn't particularly a selection criterion (though while Dexter is frequently a male name, I'd be less likely to attribute gender to a 'nym).

              I think it's more about the social affectations of people likely to show up in an airplane nude. Which is to say that I'm fine with the nudity - as long as they're not being aggressive about it. Most folks I know who are interested in being nude in places not generally considered appropriate for social nudity are either totally chill, or totally in your face.

              • by arth1 (260657)

                I remember from, oh, 20 years ago or so, there was a newspaper article about a charter trip for a nudist club, where they traveled nude in the plane. I thought it was silly that they had to come clothed, then undress on the plane and then dress again before debarking.

                I honestly see no reason for the nudity taboo we have. Covering the seat with a towel would be appreciated for hygienic reasons, but what's this obsession with whether people have clothes on or not? If you;re so much of a pervert that you ca

                • by rubycodez (864176) on Friday March 08, 2013 @10:17PM (#43123297)

                  I'll explain the problem to you. In san fran they had public nudity for awhile. fat, ugly wrinkled old geezers walked around with their hairy moobs swinging in the breeze, along with their wrinkled peckers and sagging butt cheeks. get the picture? who the hell wants to see that, especially when trying to eat at a sidewalk cafe?
                  Clothing: it's for our protection, cause not everyone has a hot bod!

                  • by jelizondo (183861) * <jerry.elizondo@nOsPam.gmail.com> on Saturday March 09, 2013 @02:04AM (#43124171)

                    Oh boy! Let me tell you a good one... For work I spent a couple of years travelling to St. Marteen (or St. Martin), a small Caribbean Island, half is a French poseession, the other half a Netherlands posession.

                    Upon arrival everyone tells you about Orient Beach, a nudist beach and say you must go there.

                    Of course, you imagine the beach to be populated by naked Nataly Portmans covered in hot grits...

                    The reality is, all of the nude people there is over 60, fat and and way too ugly.

                    You visit Orient Beach once and see a shrink the rest of your life!

                    • by arth1 (260657)

                      Upon arrival everyone tells you about Orient Beach, a nudist beach and say you must go there.

                      Of course, you imagine the beach to be populated by naked Nataly Portmans covered in hot grits...

                      Um, no. I grew up with shared saunas and nudity being allowed on pretty much any beach, so I know what naked bodies look like.

                    • by camperdave (969942) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @02:32PM (#43126643) Journal

                      Um, no. I grew up with shared saunas and nudity being allowed on pretty much any beach, so I know what naked bodies look like.

                      This is the internet. We all know what naked bodies look like.

                    • by mulvane (692631)
                      So now being on the internet means I also have a mirror in my moms basement?
                    • by Macgrrl (762836)

                      We know what attractive naked bodies look like - frequently airbrushed to make them even more attractive, or surgically enhanced to 'improve' their appearance. What we don't really know is what a genuine cross section of the general population would look like naked.

                  • by MiG82au (2594721) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @10:44AM (#43125467)
                    Nudity isn't for you to get your jollies; that's what porn is for.
                    • by gigaherz (2653757)

                      Sadly it's many times hard to separate them when nudity is present. If everyone was able to turn off the sexual machinery when they don't want it to react without permission, I'd be happy about nudity or just simply don't care about it, but as things are nudity just makes everyone else uncomfortable.

                      Maybe the issue with our culture isn't nudity itself, but rather that we have been taught to feel ashamed about said machinery working properly.

                  • by arth1 (260657) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @11:33AM (#43125687) Homepage Journal

                    I'll explain the problem to you. In san fran they had public nudity for awhile. fat, ugly wrinkled old geezers walked around with their hairy moobs swinging in the breeze, along with their wrinkled peckers and sagging butt cheeks. get the picture? who the hell wants to see that, especially when trying to eat at a sidewalk cafe?
                    Clothing: it's for our protection, cause not everyone has a hot bod!

                    Most people don't have pretty faces either - do you advocate hijab?
                    Nor pretty clothes, for that matter.
                    So what's your point again, unless, of course, you are a perv looking at bodies as sexual objects, and getting disappointed when they don't gratify your voyeurism?

                    Clothing is useful when protecting the clothed. But demanding that people wear clothing is religious baggage we can do without. I don't care whether my 70 year old neighbor wants to walk around naked and enjoy the sun on his frail body. Good for him. But he'd go to jail and be registered a sex offender because of religious perverts who can't distinguish sex from nudity, and think sex is bad so nudity is bad too. Balderdash.

                    • by camperdave (969942) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @02:35PM (#43126673) Journal

                      Clothing is useful when protecting the clothed.

                      Clothes, because I need somewhere to keep my pockets.

                    • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 10, 2013 @04:24PM (#43132861)

                      Just a correction. A hijab doesn't cover the face, just hair and shoulders.

                      You might be thinking of niquab, which only shows the eyes, or burqa, which doesn't even show the eyes.

                      Your other points are well made and I agree with your sentiments.

                    • by Macgrrl (762836)

                      We'd probably all have a better sense of self body image if we saw what other people's real bodies looked like on a regular basis. Maybe we'd go easier on ourselves about body perfection if we saw what regular bodies were.

                      I wonder if women would really aspire to model thinness if they could see the way their bones stuck out all over.

                  • I think my bod is incredible, and I don't give a rat's patootie what you or anyone else thinks. Get over yourself.

                • by Sloppy (14984) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @02:22AM (#43124207) Homepage Journal

                  what's this obsession with whether people have clothes on or not?

                  I would answer your question, but you already answered it, immediately after that.

                  Do you think it's abnormal for me to force you to change your behaviors because of my problem?

                  No, wait. I didn't ask you if it was unjustified, unfair, evil, unreasonable, psychotic or antisocial. I asked you if it's abnormal. Look at history. We fuck around with each other because of our own problems all the time. That practically the only reason for half our laws.

                • by Golddess (1361003)

                  If you;re so much of a pervert that you can't see nude bodies without reacting one way or another, you're the problem, not them.

                  Sometimes the "reaction" can be involuntary, if you get my drift.

              • by dbIII (701233) on Friday March 08, 2013 @09:30PM (#43123027)

                or totally in your face

                Teabaggers.

          • by tylikcat (1578365)

            Stay out of my seat unless invited? Though really, the likelihood I'll invite a random naked stranger on the plane to share my seat seems fairly small. Conditions on planes are crowded enough.

      • by jamesh (87723) on Friday March 08, 2013 @06:55PM (#43121709)

        "A sense of natural liberty", that means I can fly naked now, right? Right?

        You can fly naked or you can carry a knife. You can't do both.

      • by wvmarle (1070040)

        That way you may at least be able to avoid both being irradiated and being patted down.

      • by Zontar The Mindless (9002) <plasticfish@info.gmail@com> on Sunday March 10, 2013 @02:56AM (#43129439)

        "A sense of natural liberty", that means I can fly naked now, right? Right?

        No, it means some Slashdot editor is confusing Atlas Shrugged for reality again.

    • by war4peace (1628283) on Friday March 08, 2013 @02:15PM (#43118171)

      I don't fly, but I think the "I can do that but choose not to" feeling is important, compared to "I am not allowed to do that, therefore I so wish it!" feeling.

    • Two years ago I had a bottle of maple syrup in my checked luggage during a flight from Ottawa to Chicago. The guy at the scanner asked "Maple Syrup?" I nodded. He nodded. Nothing of consequence followed.

      ...and let's be honest, if you carry syrup in your carry-on with the intent to use it during the flight, you're gonna have a bad time.

  • There goes the 3 oz "travel size" industry.

    • by gemtech (645045)
      When I first saw the "3 oz." limit I wondered what the tolerance was on that. With only 1 digit of resolution it should be 3.5 oz. It turns out that it really is 3.4 ounce (100ml).
  • by djbckr (673156) on Friday March 08, 2013 @01:38PM (#43117711)
    Every time I have to fly and get in the line for security (which fortunately is just four or five times a year), I have to wonder about the nitwits that put all this in place. Surely they don't have to go through the same thing all the time or they would do something about it. At least I would think so. That's the trouble with politicians - they don't live in the same world we do...
    • by bjackson1 (953136)

      I think it might be somewhat alleviated by priority boarding/priority security lanes. I used to fly a few times a week for work, so I had status on a few major airlines. It would usually take me 10-15 minutes from arriving at the airport to being through security. Usually there was no extra scanner, just a metal detector. That combined with the other passengers knowing what to do made it a very efficent, somewhat painless process. I am guessing any politician would be going through this kind of lane.

    • Last time at the airport, when I was standing in a pretty long line for security, I remember seeing some ad: "Why do you wait? Use self check-in, electronic check-in blah-blah, whatever." I was like "Yeah, because CHECK-IN is the real problem here...".
      • by Osgeld (1900440)

        last time I flew (just in February) I never even noticed the seconds it took to walk up to the delta check in with two clerks, only one busy and went about my way ... to the hour long security line.

        I was carrying a brief case with a fluke scope meter, soldering iron, small spool of wire, a hand full of prototyped boards, a half dozen capacitor and resistor sample kits and they made my shit go though the scanner twice because my phone was in the same bin as my dell laptop

        fucking retarded

    • by Huntr (951770)

      I could never figure out the point of all these restrictions. One of the 1st things the govt did after 9/11 was lock and harden the cockpits and cockpit doors. Because of that, something like 9/11 can never, ever, ever happen again because terrorists can't get into the cockpit. Planes might have terrorists and they might get blown up or some passengers might get killed, but no terrorist will ever again have control of the plane and use it as a missile/bomb. Pilot's simply won't relinquish control.

      So, wha

  • I won't fly without being semi-unconscious.

    • by green1 (322787)

      Who still gets nervous about the flying part? that's easy, it's the conditions at security that are the issue, and they don't take kindly to semi-unconscious people.

  • Liberty, of course (Score:4, Insightful)

    by dkleinsc (563838) on Friday March 08, 2013 @01:53PM (#43117897) Homepage

    Which is why I'm still not flying until the naked-scan machines are actually gone (the policy has changed, but the machines are still there in some cases) and the rules are returned to complete sanity.

    Some examples of the silliness: They allow you to have a knife, but still ban box cutters, which are shorter and less dangerous than knives. Why? Well, the 9/11 terrorists used box cutters. So now, they're going to just have to use knives instead, or maybe beat people to death with golf clubs. What I know for sure is that this isn't about security.

    • You can always opt-out of the naked scan machines you know.

      Not that I like them and support them being there at all, I just mention that as a practical matter - and if enough people travelled that opted out they would be gone as they are too slow.

    • Box cutters usually have quite sharp blades with a solid attachment to a good grip. Very effective for slashing, usable for stabbing.
      A folding pocket knife is less likely to be sharp and the grip isn't particularly good. It's adequate for slashing, but as a stabbing weapon it's as likely to fold back on the attacker's fingers as it is to enter the intended victim's body.
      There's no good excuse for a person to carry a box cutter onto a plane, but a "Swiss army knife" is the commonest utility tool for a man
      • by Gabrill (556503)

        I use my keys about as much as my Victorinox knife. They are quite nice at opening boxes with delicate insides.

      • There's no good excuse for a person to carry a box cutter onto a plane

        There's no good excuse to spend millions of dollars screening for them either. You can take a box cutter on a subway train or a ferry. What difference does it make if you have one on an airplane?

    • by wvmarle (1070040)

      Golf clubs and hockey sticks and the like should be prohibited from carry-on luggage for totally different reasons than safety. They are just too unwieldy in an aircraft cabin. There is no good reason for that kind of luggage not to go in the cargo hold.

  • By a sense of natural liberty are they meaning freedom from TSA searches or "natural" freedom as in the nude? Either way, count me in.
  • by AmiMoJo (196126) * <mojo@@@world3...net> on Friday March 08, 2013 @02:10PM (#43118097) Homepage

    Flying out of the UK isn't too bad, just the usual x-ray machines. Landing in Japan requires fingerprint scans and a photo of your face. That's about my limit.

    BTW, if there had been a "sit next to Cowboy Neil" option I would have ticked that instead.

    • by MrL0G1C (867445)

      Japan just joined USA on my do not visit list, what the hell is it with worldwide immigration, like rape is illegal unless some immigrations official wants to stick their hand up your arse. Wrong, very wrong.

    • Landing in Japan requires fingerprint scans and a photo of your face

      As does landing in the USA, if you're not American or Canadian.

  • Broomstick. Odds are better than the listed alternatives.
  • I've been carrying a basic Swiss army knife ever since I was 10 and the only times it got confiscated was when I forgot it at airports. As an engineer I use it only about 20 times every days: take apart things, slice food too tough for the cantina's dull knifes, pick my teeth, unscrew computers, open beers, open wine...
    • Swapped out a hard drive in a Compaq server (you know, with the weird screw heads) using my tiny little Swiss army knife with an 1.5 inch blade. Oddly enough, the knife's miniscule scewdriver just fit the weird screw heads that Compaq used and we were able to install a new hard disk in time for a customer demo.

      Cheers,
      Dave

  • I will go... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Barny (103770) <bakadamage-slashdot@yahoo.com> on Friday March 08, 2013 @03:23PM (#43119111) Homepage Journal

    Dignity. When I can fly with that, I will be much more likely to fly.

  • Above maybe all else, I loathe the completely inconsistency in rules. Check out the TSA's own website [tsa.gov] where it says:

    3-1-1 for carry-ons = 3.4 ounce (100ml) bottle or less (by volume); 1 quart-sized, clear plastic, zip-top bag; 1 bag per passenger placed in screening bin. One-quart bag per person limits the total liquid volume each traveler can bring. 3.4 ounce (100ml) container size is a security measure.

    And yet every airport sign I've seen says the maximum limit is 3 ounces. That's a critical distinction b

  • Not At All (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Tau Neutrino (76206) on Friday March 08, 2013 @03:58PM (#43119541)
    For the past twelve years or so, flying has been a nightmare.

    I most look forward to staying home. Or traveling by some means other than airlines.
  • by Bill, Shooter of Bul (629286) on Friday March 08, 2013 @04:37PM (#43120021) Journal

    Duh!

    • by Kirth (183)

      Absolutely. Polearms, arkebuses, crossbows, muskets, rifles, swords, longbows. Just about anything that was invented before 1871 (if my law says I can have these, without any licence, I don't see why I can't take them onto a plane) .

      Besides, I already did fly with my longbow and a dagger; on a Cessna 174 though, and the pilot also had his own longbow with him. No use trying to use the bow during flight though, you cannot get it out of the luggage compartment even though it's open to the cabin, and the cabin

  • A tire iron.

  • Richard Reid can suck my dirty white kafir dick.

    • by cffrost (885375)

      Richard Reid can suck my dirty white kafir dick.

      When my liberty is impinged on, I blame those who impinge on it, not whoever they point to for ostensible justification.

      Richard Reid and the rest of those inept "terrorists" are a distraction — don't fall for it.

  • A small folding knife? At least some models fold. Sweet.

  • All the options from the previous poll should also be on this poll.

  • by Asahi Super Dry (531752) on Friday March 08, 2013 @10:03PM (#43123231)
    My favorite polearm.
  • I always carry a Swiss Army knife, and on at least three occasions I have remembered it just before reaching airport security. I simply informed them about it and handed it in, and it has always been waiting for me to collect on my return. Actually, it has often distracted them from my other transgressions [satirewire.com].
  • Not yours (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Trogre (513942) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @04:18AM (#43124507) Homepage

    My own damned food and drink.

  • I don't fly, you insensitive clod!
  • ... headset, map, Pooleys, and other navigation equipment as needed for the trip.

    Any passengers I carry had better not be carrying explosives, acid etc but beyond that I only really care about the weight.

    • The Boeing 747 can carry a space shuttle orbiter on its back.

      Weight limits for passengers and hold cargo are a fail.

  • If TSA insists on exerting its authority over me, I'd be happy to fly without underwear. Just let me keep my shoes on!
  • by Grayhand (2610049) on Saturday March 09, 2013 @09:10PM (#43128499)
    Tactical nuclear weapons. It's a real headache sending them by UPS.

"Mach was the greatest intellectual fraud in the last ten years." "What about X?" "I said `intellectual'." ;login, 9/1990

 



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